A Weighty Issue: Experiencing ‘ah-ha’ and ‘uh-oh’ moments

Happy New Year, everyone!!!!! Ahh, a New Year and new beginnings. A time to reflect the past year and wipe that proverbial slate clean and think of ideas to make your goals happen!

You know how you make resolutions at the beginning of each year? Like lose weight, exercise more, quit smoking and tell better jokes? These are noble causes but the truth is it’s only a vague conceptual fix. Except telling better jokes – there are books on that. For the above reason, I try only to make one resolution – not to make any. To me, resolutions are a big picture idea and year after year, I don’t fulfill one. Although, I make a good effort; wrapped up in it that I lose sight of little accomplishments. So, I do try to be vigilant of my hopes, dreams and my reality.

I heard an amazing quote about dreams: “Dreams come in a size too big, so that we may grow into them.” I found this so inspiring and motivating. So, I had an epiphany, I was in the restroom (yes, I know … the restroom); and I saw a “vision” of myself … skinny and healthy. I smiled and realized how amazing this year will be.

That leads me back to New Year’s Eve, my friends and I went to see an ’80s retro rock band perform … it was so awesome, it was gnarly!!!!! Well, needless to stay, I did get exercise – I actually danced. Yes, you heard me – I danced (the presumably high caloric alcoholic beverages) helped. I also did some “head-banging” to the music but it made me dizzy. At midnight, we had a champagne toast and partook in a midnight buffet. Many say that the food is “for luck.” I said, “no way does that work for me!!!” In fact, the last couple of years that I had pork and sauerkraut (which the smell causes paint to come off walls), I had really crappy years. I even went into those year with a good mindset – well, sort of.

Well, back to the buffet … it had pork and sauerkraut, beans, some mystery meat, etc. … Well, needless to say that food combo didn’t sit well with me … if you know what I mean! Marietta could have additional power for at least a week. Maybe that’s why I had that epiphany in the restroom?

That leads me back to the beginning of this year. I went to see Dr. Gupta for an appointment about a week and a half ago. In the last column – I have lost to date 19 pounds. Well, that is awesome. Except I had to make a trip to the doctor and later the emergency room for a severe case of cellulitis. My legs had ulcers and were as big as tree trunks and felt like they were on fire – ah, a kindling campfire on my legs – how sweet. Where are the marshmallows when you need them? Anyway, at Dr. Gupta’s appointment I gained 7 pounds. I was mortified and felt really let down. Thank God, for Dr. Gupta and his wonderful team – I felt better after talking to them. They assured me and dispelled my fears that I wouldn’t get kicked out of the program due to my weight gain which was from the cellulitis and that water retention. Since then, I’ve been on an antibiotic and it seems to be clearing up.

I’ll be scheduled for an endoscopy (EGD) soon (decided at Dr. Gupta’s office) to determine my acid reflux severity. May I remind you that I have puked up acid and melted the trash can with it? He said at this preliminary stage he would probably do the gastric-bypass on me due to the reflux issue. The surgery will correct this malady (at least I heard it is supposed to). He also said he would see how I do and gain more information to determine which surgery he would do – either the gastric sleeve or the gastric bypass. I would prefer the bypass.

I have an appointment coming up with the dietician and will be weighed again. I hope I have lost some weight. Then there will be support group meetings coming up and that EGD and a psych evaluation. I will go dressed as a box of french fries. That should help, right? Not!

One last thing before I sign off, it wasn’t as if I were having second thoughts – so don’t get me wrong … I was thinking … just thinking (dangerous, isn’t it?) that if I lost 19 pounds, why couldn’t I do it on my own? You idiot! That’s why you went to see him in the first place because you’ve tried and tried and have not succeeded and needed help. That is what I remember and will always remember. This is to save my life. I won’t forget that. May all of our dreams and epiphanies (in the restroom) come true. Until next time …

Casi Stewart can be reached at casichilstew@yahoo.com. A Weighty Issue appears every other Monday on the Life page.