Cleveland has not claimed a major sports championship since 1964 when the Browns beat the Baltimore Colts in a National Football League (NFL) title tilt.
That's an awfully long time. If you were born that year, you'd be in your mid-40s, now.
Well, be patient long-suffering Cleveland fans because the wait could be over at this time next year. It's simply a matter of mathematics, adding Shaquille O'Neal to the Cavaliers' roster.
To add Shaq, the Cavs had to subtract (deal) Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic, cash, and a 2010 second-round draft pick to the Phoenix Suns Thursday.
If you ask me, Phoenix's problems on the hardwood just multiplied manyfold in its division, which is dominated by the NBA champion Los Angeles Lakeers.
Anyways, by my calculation, LeBron James plus Shaq equals a Cavs' National Basketball Association (NBA) crown, or looking at it another way, LeB + Shq = NBA crn.
If you're confused, don't be.
Kobe (Bryant) plus Shaq equalled three NBA Laker titles (Ko + Shq = 3NBA crns), and Dwayne (Wade) plus Shaq equalled one Miami Heat championship (Dwa + Shq = 1NBA crn).
OK, OK, all of this is not exactly Albert Einstein's E=MC2 (energy equals mass multiplied by the speed of light squared), but I think you might kind of get the idea.
While obviously it's still a little premature to begin celebrating on Euclid Avenue or East 9th Street, next season in the NBA does appear to look promising for Clevelanders - arithmetic or not.
By the way, do you suppose, the fans are counting the days to the 2009-10 opening tip-off - and after-math (get it?)?
No doubt, Shaq and LeBron probably are.
When I first saw "Parkersburg" in the headline and then the name "Ed Thomas" in the story, I was very alarmed.
Thomas, a prominent prep football coach in the Hawkeye State, was fatally shot, allegedly by a former player, in the weight room at Aplington-Parkersburg High School in Parkersburg, Iowa, Wednesday.
So tragic, so sad.
You and I, of course, are more familiar with Parkersburg High School in Parkersburg, W.Va. The Big Reds, who seemingly year-in and year-out field one of the top football teams in the Mid-Ohio Valley, are scheduled to play the Marietta Tigers this fall.
By the way, there is a Marietta High School in Cobb County, Ga., too. Its nickname is the Blue Devils.
There also is another Ed Thomas, but he's not a football coach. He's The Parkersburg News & Sentinel's ace layout artist and paginator.
Coach Thomas' funeral, incidentally, is scheduled for Monday - in Parkersburg, Iowa.
Ron Johnston is The Marietta Times sports editor and can be reached at 376-5441, or at firstname.lastname@example.org.