A year ago, Dec. 11, on a cold and snowy afternoon, Mark Studenic died in a one-car accident on a rural road near Waterford while driving home from work.
Studenic, 47, of Marietta, left behind his wife, Gaye, two sons and a daughter.
"I don't even remember last Christmas. I was in a daze," Gaye Studenic said recently. "Mark loved Christmas and was so child-like about it. It was a special time for him."
Sadness, loneliness, depression, anger, frustration and guilt seem to have no place at the table at Christmastime. But for too many people, Christmas is not festive, happy or glittering. Its colors are not red, green and gold.
Like the Elvis Presley song years ago, Christmas is "blue."
The community is invited to a special "Blue Christmas" service at 7 p.m. Sunday at Christ United Methodist Church, Third and Wooster streets, Marietta.
"Without all of society's emphasis on the 'merry' of Christmas, this service will focus on what was real about the first Christmas, and is still real today," said the Rev. Doug Stockton, pastor at the church. "Christ's birth brings light to shine in the world's smothering darkness."
Before coming to Marietta, Stockton was pastor of Grace United Methodist Church in Gallipolis and offered the first community "Blue Christmas" service there.
"It became a tradition there," he said. "We were always gratified when a number of people from all different church congregations (or not affiliated with any church) would attend this service."
Gaye Studenic plans to be there.
"There is a little bit of guilt with a negative attitude towards Christmas," she said. "It will be nice to know that somebody is reaching out with understanding."
Holiday traditions have changed for Studenic and her children, ages 15, 17 and 20.
"They wanted to keep everything the same. I have tried but I just can't do the opening gifts at our house this year. We'll be doing that at Mark's parents' home," she said. "Someday we'll go back to the way we've always done it."
As the rest of the world celebrates long-held traditions, many people who have lost loved ones are struggling with poor health or broken relationships; or who are alone fight to find meaning and happiness in the season.
"It begins before Thanksgiving," Stockton said. "The constant refrain on radio and television and in shopping malls (is) about the happiness of Christmas. It often reminds many people of what they have lost or never had."
Stockton's father died on Christmas Day.
"There are times when we hurt at Christmastime and cannot get into the festivities others seems to be able to do," he said. "With my father's death years ago now, it's still always fresh in my mind. It made it hard for a long time."
His service will speak to loss, hurt and fears both recent and distant.
"Part of my message is helpful suggestions," he said.
For example, the pastor said people in stress and struggle should not be afraid to "just say no" to invitations and holiday activities.
"Only do what is comfortable," he said. "Examine your expectations and realize that some things (about the holiday) will be good, others not good."
In the space of five years, Doris McKitrick, 79, of Marietta, lost both her husband, Floyd, and an adult daughter, Theresa Wilson.
Christmas was never the same, but the support of other family members helped her through it, she said.
"The rest of the family rallied around at holiday time," McKitrick said. "That's the most important thing."
She has three living adult children and a number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
"The first Christmas after my husband died, I was just numb and very, very tired," McKitrick said. "Theresa helped me care for him at home for quite some time. He wanted to die here at home."
