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Jesus said in Luke 9:23 (NIV), "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."
Some folks consider the hardships of life to be their cross. Dealing with a health problem, don't have enough money to make ends meet, raising a handicapped child or caring for an aging parent, that's your cross, right?
Well, many people do collapse under the burdens of life. Writing in Psychology Today, Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College, wrote of "declining student resistance," which causes college age young people to be traumatized by and seek help for the emotional burdens of everyday life. Gray told about one student who felt traumatized because her roommate called her a name. Another couple, living in an off-campus apartment, called police after seeing a mouse. The police came and set a mousetrap. Professors live in fear of negative reviews or even lawsuits if they give students a failing grade. Dan Jones, a past president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors says, "Students haven't developed skills in how to soothe themselves, because their parents have solved all their problems and removed the obstacles. They don't seem to have as much grit as previous generations."
But it's not just college students and young adults who struggle. Law enforcement officers routinely referee neighborhood conflicts where aging, senior adults sound a lot like fourth graders. Marriages languish because each partner expects the other to take the first step to fix the problems. Pastors report spending as much as 50% of their working day resolving conflict among and for church members. In general, it seems, people are not as capable of solving their problems as they need to be.
Balance is required in handling those problems. In Galatians 6:2, Paul writes, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." God expects us to help one another when we can, so we can't simply shut our eyes to the difficulties others experience. We are, to use the language of Genesis, our "brother's keeper" and we are expected to help one another! But note that Paul goes on in Galatians 6:5 to say, "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load." Two thousand years ago, Paul was telling those among us who expect everyone else to solve their problems: "Grow up! It's time to be an adult. Take responsibility for your own actions and welfare."
You should understand, however, that those problems are just a part of life, the consequence of living in a world broken by sin. Those problems are shared by all humanity, whether one is young or old, male or female, wealthy or not-so-much. They are equal-opportunity problems; they come both to those who are strong believers in Christ, and to atheists or agnostics who have no interest in faith. They are not the cross about which Jesus spoke!
In the Roman Empire, a cross was the instrument of execution reserved for the most heinous criminals. Jesus left Heaven to pick up one of those crosses and carry it to Calvary, on purpose and on mission. Before Jesus was born, he knew he would have to die a sacrificial death. So when Jesus challenges his disciples to "take up their cross daily and follow me," he's asking for the same sort of intentional sacrifice that he made. Living on a tight budget isn't a cross, but giving sacrificially to help a single mom is. Dealing with a handicap isn't a cross to bear, but spending time and money to help a disabled person is. Bedbugs are a nasty problem, but they aren't a cross to bear unless you got them from a short-term mission trip!
If you're struggling with the burdens of life, I am truly sorry. Life holds too much pain, too much conflict, too much separation, and too much trouble; I'm sorry that you have to go through that! But I must ask you to take on even more. Besides the trials and troubles of life you're already facing, there's that cross lying at your feet. Pick it up, on purpose, and follow Jesus. Do more. Give more. Be more. Daily. Jesus said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."