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Mother Theresa called loneliness "the most terrible disease."
Theologian G. K. Chesterton claimed that he learned more from watching children than from any philosophy book. Chesterton noted that when young children go to bed without their favorite stuffed animal, they not only miss the toy, they also believe their toy misses them. For Chesterton, that "missing" was proof that God created us to be in relationship with others; we need friends.
God himself validates those thoughts. At the time of Creation, all was perfect and right until God created Adam. Then, for the first time, God expressed dissatisfaction with a part of his creation. Genesis 2:18 (NIV) reads, "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." God's verdict was that man should not be lonely, and the result was God's creation of the first relationship - Eve was created to be with her man.
The characters of Scripture teach us about the requirements of deep relationships. Ruth left her family behind and risked embarrassment and poverty for the sake of her relationship with Naomi. Jonathan unselfishly gave up his own claim to the throne in favor of his friend, David. Peter learned to forgive "seventy times seven." Paul had to give John Mark time to learn and mature. Mary and Martha discovered that relationships can be special, even if they don't all look alike. Barnabas noticed the poverty of his Christian friends and made financial sacrifices for them. Acts 4:37 records that he "sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet" so that others' needs could be satisfied.
Romans 12:15 spells out one of the tougher requirements of friendship: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Many have noted that mourning with those who mourn isn't that difficult, but sharing others joy without being jealous can be very difficult. Oscar Wilde wrote, "Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success."
Simply stated, relationships require work. It's work to lower boundaries and practice transparency and let someone into your life. It takes work to forgive the misunderstandings and mistakes; it would often be a lot easier to walk away. Real friendships demand truth-telling instead of glossing over disagreements. Friendships require time and money and sacrifice and commitment and loyalty.
Still, close relationships pay benefits that reward the effort. One study in the United Kingdom examined 148 different medical conditions and their survival rates, concluding that those who had strong social connections were 50% more likely to survive than those lacking strong connections. Research from the Mayo Clinic notes that people with "strong relationships are happier, better adjusted, experience fewer health problems and live longer." William Chopik, an Associate Professor of Psychology at Michigan State, co-authored one of the largest studies of the correlation between relationships and illness and discovered that "those with the good friends were 24% less likely to die during [the 8 years of the study]. Chopik also reported that "having good friends was also associated with a whole lot of positive health behaviors and benefits, like a 9% increase in likelihood to exercise, a 17% reduced risk of depression, and a 19% lower likelihood of having a stroke."
Writing in his book, Heaven, theology professor Randy Alcorn points out that relationships also pay eternal rewards. "Any vision of the afterlife that doesn't involve a society of human beings in meaningful relationship denies God's decree that it isn't good for human beings to be without others of their own kind," Alcorn writes. Alcorn goes on to picture Heaven as a place where "we'll experience all the best of human relationships and none of the worst." Heaven, he says, will be a place without abortion clinics or psychiatric wards, rape, abuse, bigotry or muggings. No worry, depression, economic problems or wars. No cliques and no masks. Instead, Alcorn writes, "Imagine mealtimes full of stories, laughter and joy, without fear of insensitivity, inappropriate behavior, anger, gossip, lust, jealousy, hurt feelings or anything that eclipses joy. That will be Heaven."
If friendships make life better now and in eternity, then they're worth the effort required to develop and maintain. Friendships may take time and require giving a great deal of ourselves to others, but those relationships will reward us forever. Investments in relationships pay the highest dividends!