The question has been asked many times over the years: “If someone commits suicide, do they automatically go to Hell?”

Sometimes the question comes from one who smugly believes they have grounds to condemn others. They view suicide as sin, a failure of faith, so these folks seek confirmation that suicide always leads to eternal condemnation. Other times the tearful question is asked by a relative or friend whose loved one has taken their own life. These folks seek reassurance of God’s grace and mercy.

Biblically, the best answer is found in James 4:12 (NIV): “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you–who are you to judge your neighbor?” Sinful human beings can’t judge the sin of others; who are we to condemn others while harboring our own sin? Who knows what prompted someone to take their own life? Who understands the flood of trouble that pushed someone over the edge? Only the One who knows the hearts of men can legitimately judge, and only He can pronounce forgiveness through the blood of Christ. To proclaim that all suicide leads to Hell is a baseless cruelty. And while motivated by kindness, pardon is not ours to pronounce. Jesus is the Judge. Judgment should stay in his wise and merciful hands.

It’s the wrong question anyway. Rather than questioning the eternal destiny of a suicide victim, we ought to ask what we can do to prevent suicide. Believers, however, possess the tools needed to help people find God and hope.

The human connection is important in preventing suicide. Human touch and compassion matter. Psychiatrist Jerome Motto lost a thirty-something patient who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge back in the 1970s. Later, visiting the man’s apartment with the Medical Examiner, he found this note: “I’m going to walk to the Bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I won’t jump.”

Still, the human connection alone may not be enough.

Shortly after Thanksgiving in 1990, high school senior Eric Renegar borrowed a friend’s 30-30 rifle, put it under his chin and pulled the trigger while laying on his dad’s grave. Struggling with drug and alcohol addiction and angry at his dad for dying of emphysema, Renegar left behind goodbye letters for family and friends. “I hope I can find a world where I’m happy,” he wrote. “I hope I can find this wonderful place called heaven. Keep my memories alive, like Dad’s. Hopefully, in my journey, I will find him.”

At 4 a.m., Renegar woke up in the cemetery, covered in his own blood. He remembers being surprised by the amount of blood and that none of his friends had come to check on him. Then Eric remembered that his stepfather had told him that God loved him and would always be there for him if he would only ask. For the first time in his life, Eric asked: “God, I need your help.” Renegar managed to get to his car and drive himself to the hospital. A 17-hour reconstructive surgery saved his life, but left him in a coma. Weeks later, when his aunt accidentally sat down on his catheter, Eric Renegar woke up. When he looked in the mirror and saw the damage he had done to himself, Renegar realized that God had spared his life for a reason. “That was the day I found hope,” Eric said.

A year later, Eric Renegar became a Christian. “It was instant peace and joy,” Eric said, “But all I really focused on were the emotional or sensational aspects of Christianity…the way I felt. There wasn’t a real foundation there.”

Later, after shattering an ankle in a mountain climbing accident, Renegar had more time to think and pray. While the human connection is important, Renegar now says that hearing “I love you” and “You will make it” from family and friends wasn’t enough to change his life. But when he finally understood how much God loved him and wanted to help him make it, that turned the tide.

Today, Renegar often visits schools to talk about teen suicide. He shares Jeremiah 29:11 as he works to convince others not to contemplate taking their own life: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Please, before harming yourself, pray, then call 988.