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Those who work in emergency services sometimes wish they could forget what they've seen.
One snowy day, my squad was called to meet a police cruiser out on the highway. When we pulled up to the cruiser, the officer told us that he had a young patient who "has a problem with [their] feet." The child got out of the police car and limped toward our ambulance. Seeing the pain, I picked up the child and almost threw them because their weight was nothing like what I expected in someone that tall. When we removed the child's shoes in the ambulance, the smell and the blackened feet told a terrible story. Living in an abandoned bus in the woods in the middle of January, the homeless dad and his son had no way to keep warm. For food, the father had been feeding his child ketchup packets taken from a local burger joint. The father professed deep love for his child, but he was too proud to ask for help and hadn't done enough to keep his child warm or provide for basic nutrition. Both of the child's feet required amputation. Love?
Author Sharry Edwards wrote about an incident in her town. A man walked out of court after a messy divorce hearing and then shot his wife 7 times in the head and chest. As he left the courthouse, he told stunned onlookers, "If she ever comes to, tell her that I love her." Love?
1 John 3:18 (NIV) reads, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. James 2:16 is even more to the point: "Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?" While saying "I love you" is so important, it's even more important that the words be backed up by actions. That old adage became an old adage because it's so true: Actions speak louder than words.
Once one moves beyond the practical needs of life — like parents making sure that kids are fed, clothed and protected — it's important to demonstrate love in a way that others understand. Psychologist and minister Gary Chapman identified 5 "love languages" — ways to love that are appreciated by different groups of people. Most folks prefer to be loved in one or more of these ways:
Words of Affirmation are words that encourage - genuine, thoughtful, specific praise or compliments given along with assurances that "I love you." Chrysostom illustrated the opposite of this in the late Fourth Century: "A wife should never say to her husband: "You lazy coward, you have no ambition. Look at our relatives and neighbors. They have plenty of money. Their wives have far more than I do." Who wants to live with that shrew?
Some folks bask in quality time. Recognizing that everyone seems busy and time is valuable, many people really appreciate it when others choose to spend time with them. Chuck Colson told about taking a group of volunteers to a church service inside a prison in Jessup, MD. Because Colson was there, so were the TV cameras. The service went well, with great music and a heartfelt sermon from Colson. But the next day, when the inmates talked about what they liked best about the service, they said they loved that the volunteers had stayed behind to eat with them after the TV crew was gone.
Gifts are often welcomed as an expression of love, and they don't have to be expensive. A favorite candy bar or a small gift card proclaims, "I'm thinking about you, and I care!"
Acts of service prove that love is real. Believers prove their love for Christ in service, but family members and coworkers can also demonstrate their love by serving another person. Take out the trash, bake a favorite dessert, wash her car or babysit for their kids so they can have an evening out. Your service testifies to your affection.
Lastly, don't forget to touch, because touch often communicates more deeply than words. A hug or a squeeze of a shoulder speaks volumes. A dad's wrestling match with his children helps satisfy their emotional need for connection.
Someone around you really needs to be loved right now. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Do it!