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In his book, Don't Let the Jerks Get the Best of You, Dr. Paul Meier defines a jerk as "someone who selfishly uses or abuses other human beings, animals, or the environment." Dr. Meier calculates that approximately 40% of the population qualify as 1st Degree Jerks. They're good people who do unto others as they would have others do to them but, on occasion, selfish behaviors creep through despite their best intentions. Another 40% of the population ranks as 2nd Degree Jerks, people who are sometimes intentionally selfish. These folks manipulate and control others to their own advantage, but they feel bad about it later and try not to do it very often. Meier identifies about 10% of the population are Nth Degree Jerks, folks who routinely take advantage of others and enjoy the feeling of power it gives them. They may leave wounded souls in their wake, but they don't care. They get what they want.
Based on those definitions, the biblical Jacob might be an Nth Degree Jerk. When Esau, his brother, comes in from hunting with "tired legs and a hungry gut," Jacob is ready with a pot of stew. But, in exchange for the stew, Jacob wants Esau's birthright. The boys are twins, but because Esau was first from the womb, he will inherit twice as much of the wealth when their father passes away. Since there are only the two of them, Esau will get 2/3 while Jacob gets 1/3. Since Isaac was a very wealthy man, selling the bowl of stew for 1/3 of the inheritance made Jacob a ton of money - at his brother's expense.
But Jacob wasn't done. He also coveted Isaac's blessing, an important rite of passage in ancient culture. When the aging Isaac decided it was time to pass on that blessing, Jacob posed as his brother and deceived the nearly blind Isaac into giving him the blessing rather than Esau. Esau became so angry that he plotted to kill his brother and Jacob ran away to his Uncle Laban's house for safety.
Jacob met his match in his Uncle Laban; what a man sows, he reaps. Laban tricked Jacob into marrying his daughter, Leah, after Jacob worked for 7 years to gain Rachel's hand in marriage. With Laban, Jacob discovered what it's like to be the victim instead of the jerk! Jacob, in turn, schemed to build a fortune for himself in livestock, using Laban's flocks and herds to do it. The relationship between the two connivers grew so tense that Jacob finally struck out for home, more willing to risk Esau's wrath than to stay near Laban.
But here's the thing: Jacob didn't have to be a jerk. Before Jacob and Esau were born, God had already told their mother, Rebekkah, that "Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger" (Genesis 25:23, NIV). Jacob's manipulation and deception only got him what God had already decreed he would get anyway. But along with the status and wealth, Jacob created drama and heartache in his own family - heartache that would cloud Jacob's entire life. That wasn't necessary. God was in control, Jacob wasn't. When Jacob manipulated, all he made was a mess.
In Reflections from the Battlefield, Corpsman Ryan Krause tells of his struggle as he made arrangements for wounded troops to be cared for in Iraq. The daily responsibility for life and death decisions was overwhelming until Krause recognized that God was the One who would determine the outcome in each case. Krause could do his best for each wounded soldier, but God would decide who lived and who died. Knowing that God was in control allowed Krause to work without so much stress. It's freeing to realize one doesn't have to play God!
If you did the math back in that first paragraph, you realized that Dr. Meier's figures only accounted for 90% of the population. The other 10% of the populace are mature people who choose not to be jerks at all. They recognize that God is in charge, and that He will give them what He wants them to have, when He wants them to have it. Instead of trying to manipulate and control, these folks walk in faith, trusting that God knows best. They know they don't have to be jerks to live a good life!