By Mark Wilmoth

One reason for the lack of civility in American discourse is that Americans have forgotten the courtesies of personal conversation. One commentator noted that, in a generation, we have gone from sitting on the front porch and visiting with neighbors to sitting on the back deck surrounded by a privacy fence. In many instances, interpersonal communication occurs mostly through email, texting or social media, leading to messages that are misunderstood or perhaps worded more strongly than intended. It’s much easier to recognize the impact of one’s words when speaking face to face with another person. Written communications like texting and social media insulate speakers from the feedback and fallout of their remarks, making it too easy to confuse or offend another person.

The problem might be solved if Americans practiced hospitality, once again inviting one another into our homes and lives. Then, instead of engaging in verbal warfare, we could disagree as friends. An opinion shared over a cup of coffee and a donut usually sounds less harsh, and is far more likely to persuade, than a flaming post to Facebook or X.

Hospitality offers spiritual and emotional benefits as well.

Hebrews 13:1-2 (NIV) commands, “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Many commentators point to Genesis 18-19 to illustrate that text. In Genesis, Abraham welcomes 3 visitors into his home and provides a sumptuous meal. As the story continues however, it becomes clear that one of those visitors is the Lord himself, and the other 2 visitors are angels who are later sent on to Sodom to see if the evil of that city merits its destruction. Then “Abraham remained standing before the Lord” (Genesis 18:22) and engaged in a negotiation, “What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it?” (Genesis 18:24). Abraham, you’ll remember, kept amending his numbers, finally getting God to agree that if He could find 10 righteous people in Sodom it would not be destroyed.

What a privilege, to lunch with God Himself and speak on behalf of others! How many other times have people entertained angels without knowing it at the time? Before you say, “that would never happen to me,” remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 25:40: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” It’s already happened to you!

Even if an angel doesn’t enjoy your hospitality, the relationship created with your fellow human becomes a reward in itself. In the early 1980s, at 80 years of age, Agatha Burgess, of Buffalo, SC, got up at 5 each weekday morning to cook for Meals on Wheels. Volunteers picked up those meals for delivery and then, at noon, Agatha fed another group of people from the community – mill workers, truck drivers, the local judge and the Ford dealer. Charging only $8.57 each in today’s dollars, Agatha provided a tasty, wholesome lunch and encouraged everyone to have seconds and eat as much as they liked. Those who couldn’t pay ate for free. When Agatha was asked why, at her age, she would work so hard, she replied, “I love it. I wanted to be a person that lived by the side of the road and be a friend to man.” When the reporter pressed and asked, “Why don’t you stop and rest?” Agatha responded, “I wouldn’t have anything to live for, because these people coming every day, they mean so much to me!” As Agatha Burgess filled others’ stomachs, she filled her own heart.

So let’s recover the art of hospitality and conversation. Invite someone out to lunch after church. Host a neighborhood picnic. Take a casserole to work and spend the noon hour with a new coworker, getting to know them a bit. Invite some other young moms over for a cup of coffee. Meet the guys at the restaurant for breakfast. And while everyone’s eating and relaxed, go ahead and talk. Commiserate because your local team lost. Learn about others’ kids, troubles, victories and dreams. Listen to others’ opinions about politics and the economy, even if you see things differently. TALK! America will be richer for it, and you might well be too!

Mark Wilmoth is with Pinehurst Christian Church in Marietta and can be reached at Minister@PinehurstChristianChurch.org