By Mark Wilmoth

More than 300 years before Christ, the Greek philosopher Aristotle said, “Anybody can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not easy!”

Society bears the scars from anger expressed at the wrong time and in the wrong degree. For example, the U.S. Department of Justice reports that only 21% of murders are committed by strangers, while friends and acquaintances are responsible 54.3% of the time, and 24.8% of all murders are committed by family members. About 1/3 of all automobile collisions involve road rage. Anger paves the road to labor strikes, race riots and family court. Emory University professor Robert Agnew writes, “Anger or rage is associated with a wide variety of violent acts, including homicide, aggravated assault, rape, domestic violence, child abuse, bullying, torture and even terrorism.”

Acknowledging that anger can be dangerous and destructive is only the beginning. In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught the importance of curbing anger before it gets out of control. “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment” Jesus said in Matthew 5:21-22 (NIV), “but I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” Jesus taught that murder begins in the heart, with an anger that devalues others and treats them with contempt. Raised voices and pejorative speech plant seeds that can grow into violence.

In his book The Beginnings, Ray Stedman illustrates this principle with a magazine picture printed during the Vietnam War. In the picture, a South Vietnamese officer is pointing his pistol at the head of a Viet Cong soldier, preparing to kill him in cold blood. When the picture was published, a reader wrote in and commented, “What a terrible thing. There stands that turtle-headed little man pointing his pistol at another man’s head and shooting him in cold blood. How could a man do a thing like that?” The next issue of the magazine carried a perceptive answer from another magazine reader: “The writer asks, ‘What causes a man to act like that?’ The answer is, ‘the same thing that causes someone to call another person a turtle-headed little man.”

When Jesus talked about anger, he taught that an early resolution – talking it out and coming to a truce – is vital not only for one’s relationship with others, but also for one’s relationship with God. “… if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,” Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-24, “leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” It’s significant that Jesus spoke those words in Galilee, about 90 miles north of the Temple in Jerusalem where sacrifices were offered. When Jesus listeners thought about his message, they would immediately understand that a 180-mile round trip and a minimum of a week’s travel (walking) would be required in order to obey his command. Obviously, working conflict out is a priority since one cannot enjoy a favorable relationship with God while harboring rage against a neighbor.

Forgiveness, letting go of the right to retaliate, is key in overcoming anger. In Ephesians 4:31-32, the Apostle Paul writes, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean that the other person wasn’t wrong, or that what they did to you doesn’t matter. On the contrary, if it didn’t matter, there would be nothing to forgive! But consider this: The person who has the most influence in your life right now is the person with whom you are angry. They cloud your days, poison your outlook and raise your blood pressure. By carrying your anger day after day, you’re allowing them to hurt you again and again. Let it go. Just let it go. If that leads to reconciliation, you win. Even if it doesn’t, you still win.

Mark Wilmoth is with Pinehurst Christian Church in Marietta. For more information about Pinehurst Christian Church, visit www.PinehurstChristianChurch.org.