People have come from all over the world to see the World Cup hosted by the USA. Many are first-time visitors. We hear from them how special our county is. They love things we take for granted like ranch salad dressing, barbecue, the American people, and our freedoms. We can learn from them to have a greater appreciation of our country.

When we teach our high school soccer players leadership, they learn the importance of taking responsibility, to take control. We can’t always change what happens to us. We can always choose how we respond. If I blame other people, the government, or market conditions for my circumstances, I have given them power over me. Politicians rarely take personal responsibility. It is always someone else’s fault, a lack of leadership both parties are guilty of. If it is always someone else’s fault, the problem will not be solved.

In the 2021 West Virginia Boys AA-A state soccer championship, we had a 3-1 lead with just over six minutes to play. We were in control. I rarely complain about officials. After two very questionable calls our opponent tied the game and sent it into overtime. One call, the ref claimed our goalkeeper held the ball longer than 6 seconds. In my entire coaching and playing career, I saw that call one other time and it was in an under-12 recreational game. It felt like the ref wanted to make the game exciting and give our opponent a chance to tie, which they did. The video we watched after the game showed our goalkeeper got rid of the ball in plenty of time. It didn’t matter. We were going into golden goal, sudden victory overtime.

The boys hydrated while us coaches met. Once we decided the overtime strategy, I ran over to the boys, worried about where their heads were after victory was taken away from us. They were relaxed and laughing, never mentioning the ref or the calls. “We got this coach.” The boys took responsibility and control of the situation. Our team controlled the game from the start of overtime. Less then five minutes in we scored on a corner kick and celebrated our state championship. The boys understood they could not change the situation. From our training, they knew they had 100% control of their attitude and how they responded to adversity. They did not blame or complain. Instead, they acted to take control of their destiny and became state champions.

Many political leaders set a terrible example for people to follow. We commonly see examples in the national media and on-line of what is wrong with America, teaching people to blame parents or someone else for their failures and circumstances. My brothers and I were blessed with loving parents who gave us our faith in God, the importance of education and good values like a work ethic and importance of integrity. We learned to be teachable. Current circumstances do not predict our future. Dad and Mom believed in America anything is possible. All six of us got an education. Two of us went to college. My other four brothers learned a trade. We started with jobs working for others. Eventually, all six of us started our own businesses that fed our families and more than paid the bills. We learned how free enterprise works.

Our parents were not perfect. They made mistakes. My Dad had a stick. He used it on us when needed. My wife Lynnda’s father used a belt. Maybe it worked then. Lynnda and I found better ways to discipline our children. Because of their background my parents did not understand entrepreneurship or how to invest and make money work for you. We did not blame our parents for their shortcomings and remain in their economic status. Instead, we took responsibility to learn from others so we could have what they could only dream about.

Many children have parents who abuse them in many ways. This is wrong. It is not the child’s fault. Something must be done. Serious abuse can impact children for the rest of their lives. In many cases therapy is needed. Despite their past, people must move forward. A bad past cannot be an excuse for future failure.

Regardless of race, national origin, a bad childhood, or other things we must do what immigrants have done for centuries in the USA, overcome the past and use the personal liberty and economic opportunity we have in the USA to achieve our dreams. The internet and major national media are full of people who can justify your failure. They will tell you why the American Dream is dead and why you can’t achieve your dreams. If you choose to listen to them and believe you will remain stuck. They will give you plenty of reasons to justify failure and why it isn’t your fault. Our soccer team began winning championships when we all believed the reasons we could win instead of why we couldn’t.

Whether in sales or asking for a date, if you expect to achieve the success and destiny you were meant to have, your mind needs to be thinking of the reasons people will want to say yes to you, rather than no. Shale Crescent USA presented on the main stage of the World Petrochemcial conference because our leader changed my thinking from all the reasons we could not be on main stage to all the reasons we deserved to be on main stage. It starts with how we think.

People are still coming to the USA with the expectation to succeed. Never hearing or believing the negative, they succeed in America. Sadly, many Americans will listen to the negative and believe they can’t have the American Dream. They will be right. I remember a freshman in my dorm who predicted he would fail the upcoming chemistry test. He went out to drink beer instead of studying. His prediction came true. He failed. What do you believe? Dreams still come true.

Greg Kozera, gkozera@shalecrescentusa.com is the director of marketing for Shale Crescent USA. He is a professional engineer with a masters in environmental engineering and over 40 years of experience in the energy industry. Greg is a leadership expert, high school soccer coach, professional speaker, author of four books and many published articles.