Pelicans can be sneaky if you have something they want. (Photo by Art Smith)

People tend to do things they normally don’t do when they go on trips or vacations. For me, this sometimes requires a trip to the emergency room.

After returning to work recently from a trip to the Florida Keys with my wife Lori, someone asked me what happened to my hand. “Oh,” I said. “That’s where a pelican bit me, it came out of nowhere and took the fish that I was holding.” Why was I holding a fish? Well to feed the giant tarpon swimming below of course. There were also sharks there. Nurse sharks to be exact, apparently there to treat stupid people holding small fish while they are being attacked by giant pelicans.

The huge bird with the giant mouth only drew a little blood. I counted myself lucky because Florida has a lot of wildlife that can kill you.

It’s not the first time I have ended up in a weird spot while on a trip, it likely will not be the last.

As a child I visited a place in North Carolina called Sliding Rock. The area is appropriately named. It is a giant rock that you slide down. There are no safety features. On the first run down, I managed to drop in a hole that caused my dad to almost jump in to save me. On the second run I managed to chip a big piece off an adult tooth. The rock won that day 2-0.

Water is almost always involved with my less-than-smart moves.

Sailing in Florida as a child I managed to end up in the lake/pond/river/ocean more times than I can remember. There is a technique to righting a flipped sailboat, one that I mastered after sliding under the sail once and trying to come up for air under it.

As an adult, I managed to get under a raft at the New River Gorge after getting thrown out while white-water rafting. In both cases I knew I was OK; it was the other people who couldn’t find me for a moment who were briefly freaking out.

The most serious accident happened at Myrtle Beach, not in the ocean but on frozen water at an ice rink where I managed to land on the back of my head and knock myself unconscious. The concussion gave me dizzy spells for years and led to my family permanently banning me from ice skating.

In Salt Lake City, there is a trail high above the city called the Bonneville Shoreline Trail. The trail follows the shoreline of an ancient lake (the loose connection to water). Once you reach the trail, it is flat as it hugs the edge of the Wasatch Mountains. It is a great place to hike or trail run, which is what I was doing when I fell off the mountain.

It was more of a slide than a fall, and I managed to army crawl back up and continue my run. The kicker though is that when I turned around and started back I nearly fell off the mountain a second time.

I really don’t try to get hurt when on trips. It just works out that way sometimes. Be careful on your summer travels, or at least come back with a good story.

Art Smith is online manager of The Marietta Times and Parkersburg News and Sentinel. He can be reached at asmith@mariettatimes.com