December 1967, our family was watching TV when the phone rang. It was Uncle Joe, Dad’s older brother. Mom handed Dad the phone. Dad’s eyes got wet. Looking down, in a whisper he announced, “Austin (our cousin, Dad’s nephew) was killed in Vietnam.” I was in high school; death was no stranger. Austin’s mother (our Aunt Caty) passed two years prior. I went to my grandparents’ funerals. A close childhood friend died in a gun accident when he snuck out of school before the end of the day to go bird hunting. We all boarded the school bus that morning. It was surreal.

My parents lived through WWII. Dad was a Marine who fought in the Pacific. He saw more death than he could ever forget. For all of us this was different. It was family. The Vietnam War was on TV nightly. Vietnam was halfway around the world. In WWII, the USA was fighting to stay free. Everyone sacrificed. While Dad fought in the Pacific, Mom worked in a factory. Her work directly supported our men on the battlefield. Vietnam was different. Except for TV and a few war protests life went on as usual. Austin’s death brought the war home to our family.

Calling hours at the funeral home were filled with family and friends. Austin’s full military honors funeral was the first I experienced. At the cemetery, a rifle detail of seven service members fired a three-volley salute followed by a live bugler playing “Taps.” Back then men did not cry. It was a sign of weakness. As kids, when we cried about some minor issue, Dad told us, “I will give you something to cry about.” Austin’s funeral was one of the few times I recall Dad wearing sunglasses. I remember him telling his brother, our uncle Joe. “I was okay until they fired the rifles.” The American flag draping the coffin was folded and given to Austin’s father, my uncle Bill. Austin was a promising young man who died too soon fighting for our country as did millions of American soldiers before him. Memorial Day we just observed, is to honor and mourn the military personnel who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. Freedom is not free.

One thing we can do to honor their sacrifice is to do our part to preserve the freedom they bought with their blood. We can start by using our free speech to have meaningful civil conversations with people who think differently than we do. We have friends who have a relative in Massachusetts (a Blue State) who refuses to talk to anyone including family in a Red State like West Virginia or Ohio. That attitude dishonors Austin and all men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice so we could stay One Nation Under God, not a Red Nation or a Blue Nation. A house divided against itself will not stand.

We hear our country is divided. Looking at American history, this should NOT surprise us. We have been divided since our nation’s birth in 1776, 250 years ago. Diversity and differing opinions with the freedom to express them is one of the strengths that moves us forward. Sometimes painfully. Everyone in 1776 did not agree with separation from England. They resolved the differences. In writing our Constitution the large populous states wanted representation in Congress based on population. The small states wanted equal representation. The problem was resolved by discussion and compromise. Today many in Congress and some Americans refuse to meet with or even talk to those with differing opinions or of a different political party. Based on our history, that is unAmerican and dishonors our veterans.

Our Founding Fathers were passionate about what they wrote in the Declaration of Independence. The signers knew they were committing treason against the Crown, putting their lives and property at risk by signing the Declaration. Five signers were captured by the British as traitors and tortured before they died. Nine fought and died of wounds in battle. Two lost sons in the Revolutionary War. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Many lost businesses and property. They loved liberty more and took the risk.

The Founding Fathers believed, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” And added, “Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” This type of government was their dream. It unified them. Their goal was so important they were willing to find ways to overcome the things that divided them. They did something our current Congress forgot. They compromised. The result was the “Great Compromise,” a two chambered legislature. In the Senate, each state has two representatives. In the House of Representatives, representation is based on population. Debates at times got heated. Fortunately, there was no internet to create animosity. Delegates talked to each each other face to face with common decency and respect. They loved our country and what it stood for more than their own ego or desires.

At the time of writing the Constitution, southern states had slaves. The northern states did not. They found a compromise to deal with this at the time to create our nation. They added the ability to change the Constitution in the future, which ultimately happened.

The United States is a melting pot of people and cultures from all over the world. The best and brightest come to the USA because we have personal liberty and economic opportunity, a rare combination. Championships as a coach and success in business results from high performance teams. They have a common goal, people with a diversity of skills and ideas, effective communication and strong leadership in a country having personal liberty and economic opportunity. All made possible by our veterans, especially those who gave all. Thank You!

Greg Kozera, gkozera@shalecrescentusa.com is the director of marketing for Shale Crescent USA. He is a professional engineer with a masters in environmental engineering and over 40 years of experience in the energy industry. Greg is a leadership expert, high school soccer coach, professional speaker, author of four books and many published articles.